There are 9 characteristics listed for us, namely - love, joy peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Now, some of these may be more obvious and evident in your life already. Some, you may only have a simple understanding of, and may not have thought of them in a deeper sense. But, one thing is for certain, we OUGHT to know and outlive them all! They should be the outworking of that work which the Holy Spirit HAS performed and IS performing in us.
The sinful world in which we live has trivialised and sentimentalised love. People use the term lightly and easily. Love can mean everything or nothing – “I love my husband” or “I love cake”. The 2 are worlds apart in importance (or they should be!…) However, as Christians, there is a lot to learn about what it means to love – to live it as an action, not just to express it as an emotion.
I think it is important, especially considering how lightly the term is often used, that we define love in the Biblical sense. The word “love” or “charity” is mentioned 339 times in the Bible. The Old Testament mainly uses the word ahab – which means “to have affection for”, and chashaq, “to cling, join to love, delight in”. The New Testament, however, uses several different words for love. Firstly there is agapao – “to love”. Then, there is phileo, which is “to be fond of, a friend to, have affection for”. There are other much less used terms – thelo, to “choose or prefer” (see Mark 12:38), philarguria “love of money”, philandros “love to husband”, philoteknos “love to children” and philanthropia “benevolence, kindness toward man”. Strong, in his Greek Concordance describes the difference between agapao and phileo like this
phileo - to be a friend to (fond of [an individual or an object]), that is, have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while agapao is wider, embracing especially the judgment and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principle, duty and propriety: the former being chiefly of the heart and the latter of the head)
In short – agapao is a love that we mentally make a decision to have, not just an emotion or feeling like phileo. We have to CHOOSE to love, rather than it naturally being there.
Bearing this in mind, all of our instruction to love in the New Testament, is agapao – a love that we set our mind to show. It is deliberate, not a spontaneous emotion or sentimentality. It goes far deeper and means a lot more.
Then what can we learn about this love that we must bear as fruit?
WHY ARE WE TO LOVE?
Primarily, and most importantly, we love because we are commanded to. It is a direct command from our heavenly Father, and therefore must not be ignored. John 15:12 “This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.” Simple really….isn’t it?…..
Romans 13:10 teaches that “love is the fulfilling of the law.” Love is the essence of the rest of the law – if we love, then we will be able to keep all the rest. So we must love, in order to fulfill all that we have been commanded to obey. It is the motivator of all else that we do.
WHO ARE WE TO LOVE?
We are told to love many different groups of people, but these are the most-mentioned ones.
THE LORD
We must consider that our love must firstly be to the Lord. We are directly told to “love the Lord” or “love God” 21 times in the Bible. We cannot neglect such a clear and repeated instruction. There is not a choice given, rather a commandment. Where does this love begin then? I John 4:13 teaches “We love him, because he first loved us.” The Lord set His undeserving love upon us and demonstrated it in sending his son to die for us and take the punishment for our sin. What an example! Then, John 14:23 teaches “Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.” Then, if we first love the Lord, above all else, then we have the indwelling Spirit who then enables us to show that love to others. I John 4 verse 10 &11 then states – “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another”. So, we come a full circle – God loves us, we love Him, we show love to others.
The commandment to love God is emphasized in Mark 12: 30 & 31. The Lord tells us that there is “no greater commandment”. Think of that! All of the seriousness of the ten commandments – all the serious sins that we must strive to avoid, or deeds we must to do – and yet, loving the Lord is more important than them all. Why? Because loving God will then give us a desire to follow all the others! When we are walking with Him, and loving Him in every way, we will WANT to obey. Our love for the Lord then has a reflective quality – it is HIS love that we are showing to others, through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
ONE ANOTHER
31 times in the scriptures, we are told to love one another. John 13:34 says, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” So, we are reminded again that our love to others stems from Christs love to us. We are told more explicitly to “love one another as I have loved you”. In every way that He loves us we have to love others. It then is understandable that “by this shall all men know that ye are my disciples”. If we love like the Lord, then our relationship with the Lord should be obvious. We are told also to love our “neighbour”. This would be included in the umbrella of “one another”, but would be more specific to those “near” to us – in distance (ie where we live) and in a Church and family setting. I suppose we are reminded of this, as it is not always easy to show love to those nearest to us. They are the ones whom we have contact with regularly, and have more potential to have “unloving” behaviour shown to us, perhaps making them harder TO love? But then, isn’t this the essence of that “agape” love we are to show – to make that effort to love even when it is not easy. The people that we worship with on the Lord’s day and have fellowship are just as imperfect as we are. Circumstances arise that make a loving spirit and demonstration difficult – but we must still show love to them. Our example of the Saviour can only be used for good to others that may not be walking as they should. The Lord can use it to challenge the ones that are not behaving in a Godly way. So – keep on loving!
YOUR ENEMIES
Well now – if loving our family, or loving fellow Christians can be a difficult job – loving our ENEMIES?! Those who hate us, those who do not love God’s word. The word enemy derives from the latin inimicus, from in- not + amicus - a friend. Those who are not our friends – have no desire to be, because they know we love the Lord. The dictionary definition includes “A person who is actively opposed to someone else” (emphasis mine). They are doing and saying things to try oppose our truths and life lived for God. And we are to LOVE them. This is one of the biggest tests of our love – it is difficult and requires effort to SHOW love to those whom it is easier to dislike and who often deserve to be disliked. But, it can then be an opportunity of witnessing and winning others for Christ.
So then, we have thought of WHO we should love. We need to then consider….
HOW ARE WE TO LOVE?
When we look through the different references to love, we learn a lot about the way in which we must demonstrate our love to others.
We must “walk” in love – Eph. 5:2 –to live in and be occupied with love. This reminds us that it is an active attribute, and requires a moving forward also. We shouldn’t be content with our love, but move forward with it and develop it.
We must “labour” in love – I Thess 1:3 – this reminds us that we must toil and work hard to produce love. It is not an easy task, but requires our every effort and energy.
We must “serve” in love – Galatians 5:13 – our love should motivate us to serve others – to be practical in our help and care for them. And, we should BE loving in the way that we show that servants heart. I john 3:17 & 18 also speaks of this – “But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” So, if we do not endeavor to meet the needs of others when we see them, we have to question if the Lord’s love is in us. We must outlive our love in the most practical ways. Gill in his commentary says –
“true love is a laborious and operative grace, hence we read of the work and labour of love; it shows itself by the saints serving one another, in spirituals; as by bearing one another's burdens, forbearing with, and forgiving one another, praying for each other, and building up one another on their most holy faith; exhorting each other to the duties of religion, and not suffering sins upon one another, but admonish in love, and restore with meekness; and in temporals, distributing to the necessities of the saints, ministering: to them of their worldly substance, and supplying their daily wants: and this is loving "in deed", or "in work"; this is actual love, love in fact, and what is apparent and evident: and it is "in truth", when it is in reality, and not in show only; and when it is cordially and heartily done, with cheerfulness, and without grudging.”
Much there to apply and take to heart!
I know a lady, and, to put it kindly, she seems to struggle to show much outward joy and happiness. She attends Church, but nothing outwardly indicates much happiness.
Well, one day I had an awful lot of over-ripe bananas, so I decided to make several little banana loaves and give them away. Now, I could have given them to those I thought would seem to appreciate them. Some I did, but I decided to give some to the aforementioned lady. You see, we are told to display love as part of our fruit. Thinking loving thoughts about someone is a start. Telling others you love someone does not even mean enough. SHOWING love – now, that means more.
I didn’t expect an enthusiastic response – but, WOW! She smiled widely and thanked me sincerely! Now, that was worth showing love for. It blessed and encouraged me, as well as her I hope. BUT – even if she hadn’t have responded like that, it would STILL be worth it – because it is the right way to live.
We must love “without dissimulation” – that is sincere, without hypocrisy. How easy it is to SAY we love, but then do not show it as we ought to.
Now, your turn again. This time, I have more for you to study!
1. Read Mark 12:30. How are we to love? What does this entail?
2. Read Luke 6 31-35 & Matt 5 43-46. What can we learn from these passages?
How are we to love?
3. Read Deuteronomy 10:19. Which people have we to show love to here - what practical ways can you think of to apply this?
4. Read Ephesians 1:15 and Colossians 1:4. What commendation does Paul bring of the churches in Ephesus and Colosse? Can this be said of your Church setting - what can you do to make this the case?
5. Read Titus 2:4. How can you show your husband today that you love him, thinking of all the aspects of love that we have considered?
6. Read Psalm 145:20, Romans 8:28, Ephesians 6:24, John 14:23,
I Cor. 2:9, James 1:12. What are the different
ways we are rewarded for loving the Lord?
7. Read II Cor. 12:15 - what example does Paul set for us here?
Now for the "big one"!!!!!!
8. Read I Cor. 13......List all the attributes of love given here. How can you apply that in the relationships that you have - to your husband, to your children, to your parents, siblings, friends and others?
